Modern Science Excuses Teapots that Dribble!

With the same focus as a recent University study into how to dunk biscuits without leaving crumbs in your tea, Professor Vanden-Broeck has devoted a month to research into why the spouts of so many teapots dribble tea instead of pouring perfectly.

The Professor, a Belgian academic who has spent 20 years calculating fluid flows, has stated that such spillage is a natural phenomenon and not a result of bad design,

“I have discovered that the pressure in the fluid underneath the spout is very low. The fluid therefore gets pushed onto the spout by natural atmospheric pressure.”

The Professor has scorned those who discount his work as worthless and trivial,

“I think it’s important responsibility of applied mathematicians to make our work relevant to the practical world.”

A UEA spokesman backed the research up and stated that such discoveries and calculations could have significant impact in areas of design such as the bows of ships, where the behaviour of liquid is an important factor.

Away from the scientific community, the Tea Council praised the discovery, as did the Department for Trade and Industry and it’s clear the Professor still wants to find a way to make teapots stop dribbling,

“It is a bit like Russian roulette every time you have a cup of tea. Theoretically, my calculations should be able to work out the optimum type of teapot to make dribbling a thing of the past.”

For the rest of us, it means it’s unlikely we can expect design to save our saucers from spilt tea, so we are just going to have to work on our pouring techniques instead!